The silent goodbye...

That kiss. I pushed you against the wall to feel how strong you were. My body touching yours, yours touching mine. the fabric of ours clothes... was there any clothes on you? I don't remember... Oh yes, the one I made you wear. It was all so quickly. It was a surprise, none of us expected that for that day, well I knew I woke up horny and when it happened... it was not on my plans for the day and when it happened, oh... The rush on my veins, the excitment, like the first time. It all felt like the first time.

I now can only remember pieces of that moment... which marks on my mind making sculputures of pleasure...the moisture of different types of liquids: your saliva, your sweat, the water driping in our bodies... the strong touch... the smell...the taste...the taste...the smell.

Will my memory hold it all...? all that I lived in moments like these. Moments that I felt free. Moments that transported me to a different dimension. There was no love, there was pain, there was love, and there was the certainty that I knew what I was doing no matter what the world said. The journey of each person's life. And on these journey my blood run faster in my veins, all my glands worked double hard with all the hormones in my body going boiling point. All my senses awaken to its maximum.

I always found a moment like this heaven. A complete acceptance of myself, nothing else mattered. The world in that box seemed huge and welcoming, bright, peaceful and dangerous. Doing what many people do not do, making it my own treasure... will my memory hold it all?

I close my eyes and I can feel each moment as blessed moments. Moments that made me grow through love and pain, through hope and despair, through extremes of pushing my bondaries to full acceptance of myself in a 'swimming pool of pool'..., through moving from physical attraction to love desire, to addiction desire and back to physical attraction. And now... now I know I am ready to fly... and as I fly I know Love is awaiting for me.